Next up...panic.

So, I made it through last night without arguing with my family or crying over sillness.

But this morning, around 2, panic set in:

1. Can I do this? I mean, I've done it before, in weather much worse than what I should face in San Antonio. I've read over my running logs from last year before the marathon, and honestly, my runs are very similar. My times are generally better this time around, even. So why the doubt?

2. Am I gaining weight from not running? I know, I know. Crazy talk. I've made a concentrated effort to eat reasonably this week. I'm still drinking a lot of water. But the fear is still there.

3. How will I eat over the next two days? The stuff I've read recently seems to advocate carb-loading only the day before the race. But I also need to lay off any high-fiber foods starting...well, today. But I'm a vegetarian! Everything I eat is high fiber! I'm cutting myself off the high fiber after lunch today. I guess I'll live off eggs and cheese tonight and tomorrow. And then, Saturday...carb city.

4. I just read on the marathon page that there's a Veterans' Day parade and a college football game in downtown on Saturday. So now I'm freaking out about dealing with traffic.

5. My kids. I've leaving them with their father for two days (I'll be back on Monday in time to pick them up from school, take Kate to dance and go to the grocery store). It's not like I'm leaving them to roam wild, scavenging for food out of Dumpsters, right? The worse that may happen is fast food on Saturday and Sunday. Considering that generally I make sure they eat well-balanced meals, I should be able to calm down. But y'all, in my running-deprived state, the fact that my children may eat Sonic for supper on Saturday and Taco Bell for supper on Sunday makes me want to cry*. I don't even want to talk about what my daughter may wear to school on Monday...

(*And in all honesty, this may not happen. Russ can cook, and may whip up something wonderful for them on Sunday night...)

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Things I am not worried about?

1. What I'm going to wear. The low on Sunday is 60, with the high being 83. Ten percent chance of rain. So I've got this! I'm going to wear my black Brooks running skirt and a turquoise shirt. Thorlo socks, per usual, and my latest pair of Nike Run Frees (to be replaced when I return from SA).

2. The actual drive to San Antonio. I have the radio, Sirius Radio, and my iPod to keep me company, all in the comfort of my brand-new car.

3. The afterward part. Last year, after I finished, I had to turn around and drive straight home. I did it and everything was fine, but still... This year, I'll have time to soak in the tub. Eat something really disgusting and bad for me. Take a nap. Watch the NFL. Maybe even write a blog post.

4. My run on Thursday. :-)