Runner problems and other stuff...

I hate cold weather. Hate it, hate it, hate it. If I wanted to live somewhere cold, I would. But I don't, so I live on the Gulf Coast of Texas.

Where it has been cold and rainy. It's like a double whammy for me.

Maybe I have a vitamin D deficiency. Maybe it's because I'm old. Maybe it's because I really never have a day where I can just sit in my house and not get out in the weather. Maybe it is, as my husband suggests, because I don't have any "meat on [my] bones."

Whatever. Can it please just be April already? I'd even take March!

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With the colder weather comes the need for warmer running clothes, which also causes a problem.

When I run, I like to wear the least amount of clothing I can without being arrested or grossing people out. Seven years ago when I ran early in the morning, I'd run in just a sports a bra and shorts. That time is long past, though (more on that in a few).

So during the summer/spring/warmer weather, I wear as little as possible. Winter means I have to figure out how to wear more without actually wearing more.

A few years ago, I bought a pair of UnderArmour running tights. This was a huge deal for me, as I wasn't exactly thrilled with wearing something super-tight around my bottom half. For weeks, I only wore them when I ran early in the morning or at night. I didn't want anyone to see me in them.

I gradually got used to them and started wearing them during the day or around others. I admit, I fell in love with them, y'all. Serious love.

And last year when I lost a lot more weight and my iPod started pulling them down while I ran, I bought new ones in a smaller size.

Not the same. SO not the same.

Last night, with all my alternatives (capris) dirty, I dug out the old faithful running tights to wear to the gym. I wasn't going to be wearing my iPod, so I figured they'd be OK.

Not so much.

With temps predicted to be in the low 30s for tomorrow morning's Turkey Trot, I'm heading to Academy today in the hopes of finding the perfect running tight. Wish me luck.

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And now for more serious stuff...

There's an article making the rounds of the Interwebs about a woman who chronicled her weight loss in photographs and who talks about how the weight loss has actually made her feel worse about herself rather than better.

The big thing that no one tells you about weight loss -- especially when you lose a LOT of weight -- is that the skin doesn't go anywhere.

I've lost more than 100 pounds over the past seven years. I have a lot of loose skin. Not as much as some people; mine doesn't cause any skin irritations or infections like I've read about. But it's there. Every time I undress. Every time I try on something tight or low-rise or whatever, it's there. Every time I do a plank and look down, I can see my stomach skin loose against my shirt. There are times I have to do some tucking in of my skin in order to get clothing to look right.

How your skin responds to weight loss has a lot to do with your age and with genetics. A young person who gains a considerable amount of weight and then loses it (in a reasonable way) may not have as much loose skin as a person my age. When I saw the personal trainer for that year, he said that my skin actually was bouncing back quite well, so genetics can help some. He only saw my upper arms, though. ;-)

I've looked into having a tummy tuck (or rather a lower body lift). I looked into it so seriously that I made a consulting appointment with a plastic surgeon, which I later canceled. Once I started researching it, I got really scared. It would mean four weeks of downtime. I'd need someone to take care of me for at least two weeks. It would be expensive. If I were having skin infections or other problems, insurance might cover a portion of it. But for primarily cosmetic reasons? No way.

I also read that it won't do any good if the ab muscles underneath aren't in good shape. I was terrified that I'd go to the doctor for a consultation and he'd tell me that my ab muscles were still in pitiful shape.

So I decided against it, for now.

But the loose skin is still depressing. I'll be perfectly honest. I worked my ass off, almost literally, to lose this weight. I didn't do any quick fixes with pills or supplements or fad diets. I watch what I eat and I exercise daily.

So to see that reminder daily that I was a fat person once can be demoralizing. As someone said online, it's like I'm always going to be punished for being overweight. I'll never truly be in shape or fit or thin, no matter what the scale says.

It also is inspiring in a way. I see all that skin and know that I'm not that person anymore.

I just wish I didn't have to still carry her skin around with me.

Yes...I'm that crazy lady.

Last Monday evening, during a break between dance classes, Katie and I went to Target in a last-minute effort to put together a Halloween costume for my sweet girl. Between school projects, football games and all that, it's been a struggle to get the basics done.

So we were in line checking out. I bought one of those foam wigs for me that Target has had out for a while. Katie and I were talking about what I'd wear with it and all that, and a guy in the line next to me said, "I know! You can wear it while you run around the neighborhood!"

Yep. It was one of my neighbors.

This morning, I stopped at a convenience store and the girl behind the counter was wearing a giraffe costume. She asked where my costume was, and I said that I was an old, tired mom. She said, "Awwww...hey, you're that lady who runs around my neighborhood. No wonder you're tired!"

So yeah, I'm officially "that lady" who runs. And I'm OK with that.

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With the end of high school football season (and the end of the never-ending band competitions), I'm switching my run schedule around.

I used to schedule my long run for Sunday because well, that's when I had time to get it done. But now, I'm moving it to Saturday mornings. Yes, I'll have to get up super-early to get it done. Yes, it's going to be cold. Yes, I'll be wiped for the rest of the day.

But yet, I'm going to do it!

Every mile counts.

I have run every single day since June 29.

I have a schedule:

Sunday: Long run -- 16-18 miles. Will get longer the closer to the Houston Marathon I get.
Monday-Thursday: I typically run 12 miles each day. It's broken up -- five at lunchtime, then the other seven when I can get it done. Because of Kate's dance classes and Kyle's band practices, I break it up and get the miles in when I can.
Friday: Three or four miles. I run these early in the morning because of high school football at night.
Saturday: Whatever I have left to make it to 70 for the week. Sometimes it's just two; if I've had a busy week with lots of interruptions, it's more.

I feel great. My times are getting faster. So it's all good.

But on Sunday when I woke up, I decided to take an off day.

There was no particular reason. I felt fine. I didn't have a whole lot to do that day, other than my usual. The weather looked bad, but I have the gym treadmill to fall back on, so no big there. I just decided I wasn't going to run.

I went through my morning routine and headed to the grocery store with that in mind: I am not going to run today. It will be OK. I will be fine.

A few minutes later, I thought, "Well, maybe just run a couple of miles. No stress. No pressure. Just get out there and run."

A few minutes later: "I might as well run at least six if I'm going to get out there. It's a waste to get ready and get out there only for two miles."

And a few minutes more: "Or eight. I could do eight."

Finally: "OK. I'll do 10. Ten sounds about right."

In 30 minutes' time, I convinced myself to run 10 miles when I previously had decided not to run any.

I'm glad I did. Because of some random occurrences plus Homecoming, it's going to be a struggle to get to 70 miles this week. Those ten miles will definitely help me out.

Playing catch-up...

Yes. It's been a while. Work + school for kids + extracurriculars + life + running = zero time.

But here's some stuff that's happening/happened/will happen:

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I had to buy a new Garmin. Like microwave ovens (we've been through an inordinate number of them in our 18.5-year marriage), I am hard on them.

I got a Garmin Forerunner 410 for our 15th wedding anniversary; he got a huge computer screen he'd been eyeing (what? The fifteenth anniversary isn't the geeky presents anniversary?). After using that thing multiple times daily, it quit holding a charge after almost 2 years. (I should note that it decided to crater during one of my 20-milers when I was on pace to finish in under three hours. GRRRRR.)

So I bought the Forerunner 10. It was simpler and cheaper than my first one, and I thought that would work for me. Not so much. It has a short battery life -- I mean, not really. I think it's good for three hours, but when you're running 20 miles and you're me...well, you need a little longer than three hours' of battery life. It ran out of battery during my last marathon. Sigh.

Recently, it wouldn't record runs, wouldn't upload them to the Web site, all sorts of craziness. I can't take that. I have this intense NEED to know my stats. I want to know the calorie burn. I want to know my fastest mile vs. my slowest.

So a week ago, I got this beauty:

Yes. It is huge. But it is also (so far) amazing. One of the things I missed with the Forerunner 10 was the ability to see my time, distance and pace, all at the same time. With the Garmin Forerunner 310XT, it's all there.

We'll see how long it lasts me.

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So, three years ago, when we went to The Bahamas for vacation, I was at the lowest weight I had been in quite some time. I won't name numbers, but it was substantially below the 130 that was my goal. There were no worries about my health; my doctor was happy with it, and I felt great. Keep in mind that I am a shortie, so the range for my normal weight can be quite low.

Well, then I got super lazy with my vegetarianism and went to eating carbs topped with carbs with a side of carbs, and I gained 15 pounds over the past 2.5 years. I was still within a normal range for my frame and height, but I was not happy about it.

I know how I operate, though, and I know what a slippery slope this whole weight thing is. Sure, 15 pounds is not anything to panic about, but when you've weighed 200+ pounds, it kind of is.

When I went back to eating meat, I lost weight. When I bumped up my running from a minimum of 40 miles a week to 60-70...I lost more.

As of Monday, I am one pound away from that magical Bahamas summer weight. I feel great. I have tons of energy and I can only see it getting better!

---

Technically, I'm supposed to officially start my marathon training on Sunday.

I'm not so sure I'm going to stick to an official training plan, though. I'm doing great the way I'm going now, so I think I'm just going to keep on keeping on.

I undertrained for the San Antonio RNR marathon; that will not happen this time. I'm already in a better space than I was then.

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Lastly, can y'all keep a secret? I mean, really?

My husband has started running.

!!!!!!!!!!!!

In May, he started working out regularly. He belongs to a 24-hour gym in our city, and he'd go four or five days a week and use the elliptical.

One night, he came home and said, ever-so-casually, "I'm running now."

I was like, "Whaaaa?"

This was the same man who has repeatedly told me that he's going to have to push my wheelchair around in a few years because I'm "ruining [my] knees from all that running."

The same man who would tell me, "Beth, you're not going to die if you don't run today." (My answer: "No, I probably won't, but if I don't get in my run, you will wish you had." Cranky isn't even the word for it, y'all.)

He had started the Couch to 5K program, an app available for various Smartphones, and had been working on it for who-knows-how-many weeks.

Now, he's going to the gym every day. He ran while he was in Germany for work. He's looking forward to the temps dropping so he can run outside.

He's running his first 5K EVER next weekend. (All four of us are running it, which is pretty much my dream come true!)

I couldn't be prouder of him, y'all. He's a pretty amazing guy, with lots of talents. But I know how hard it is to start running and keep it up. It's so scary.

I don't talk to him about running much. I don't want to ruin it for him, if that makes any sense. I let him bring it up, if he has any questions. I listen to him talk through his running plans. I do remind him to keep track of mileage on his shoes, though -- two people with plantar fascitis is two too many.

But otherwise, I leave him alone and let him run.

No rest for the...well, me

The last day that I did not run was June 28, 2013.

I've run every day since then. Some days, it's been a 15-miler; some days, it's just been two miles. But every day for a little more than two months, I've run.

I didn't start out to do this. It was more like thinking that I wanted to reach 50 or 60 miles each week, and then thinking, "Well, what the hell? I might as well run a few more."

It hasn't always been easy, and there have been days when I thought there was no way I was going to get a run in at all. But I always managed.

Last week, around Wednesday, my shin started hurting. I decided right then and there that I wouldn't run on Friday. It was going to be difficult anyway because of a two-hours' away football game.

By Thursday night, my shin wasn't hurting anymore, so I got up at 4:45 Friday morning and got in three miles.

I feel great. I've lost the 11 pounds that has crept back up on me in the two years since we went to The Bahamas. I'm getting faster.

There are only two bad things: One, with the mileage I'm putting up, I'm going to have to buy new running shoes in a month or so, and two, the tan lines. Oh y'all, the tan lines. Yuck.

If there's a will...

The summer has been pretty great. Yes, it's been hot, and yes, we've had some busy times, but all in all, it's been a wonderful few months with my family and with running.

I've been managing 60 miles a week at least for the past few weeks. It hasn't even been difficult. I go to the gym at lunch, and then I run in the evenings once the kids and I get home.

But now school starts and with it, all kinds of activities and responsibilities and extracurriculars. I'm getting a trial week, though: My daughter's dance classes actually started this week.

Yesterday, I went to the gym three times to get in my mileage. Yes, three times. (I'm getting my money's worth out of that gym membership.)

First, I went at lunch for my regular 5 miles (which turned into 5.5 by accident).

Then, while Katie was at dance from 5:45-6:30, I ran 4 more miles.

(Mad dash back to dance to pick up Katie and hang out for an hour.)

Then, BACK to the gym for a final 2 miles while Katie had her second dance class. I could have done a couple of more, but I had an errand to run.

Boom. Eleven miles, total.

It really bothers me when people say they don't have time to exercise. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. It's just how you choose to spend that time...

So...this is happening.

Somehow, I've started running 60 miles a week.

I haven't necessarily planned it; it's just been more like an inner monologue that asks, "What else do I have to do? Nothing? OK. I'll go run."

So I do. During my lunch hour at work, after I get home with the kids in the evenings, after we run errands/go eat/do things on the weekend. The miles just keep adding up. It keeps me focused at work, and clears the cobwebs after a day of work.

The kids will start school soon, and I don't know how I'm going to keep it up, though. Their extracurriculars will keep me hopping, and my husband is going out of the country for week soon.

I think I'll find a way no matter what. I've been known to run at 11 p.m. if it means getting the mileage in.

I feel great. My brain knows that the possibility of injury goes up considerably when you run this kind of mileage regularly; my heart doesn't care.

---

With higher mileage comes the need for new running shoes a lot sooner than normal. I've got at least 200 miles on my current shoes (probably more), so I will need new ones in the next week or so.

I'm sad to say good-bye to my Brooks Ravenna 3s, and I'm not sure if I want to move to the Ravenna 4s (sometimes the changes made can make a BIG difference from one version to the other).

I'll just go back to the running store, tell them the story about my sad fallen arches and my aching plantar fascitis, and walk out with an amazing pair of shoes that make me forget about BOTH of those things... :-)

Pushing it.

What I'm thinking:

 When we went on our vacation at the beginning of June, my then-13-year-old son ziplined across the Royal Gorge.

Yes. I put my baby boy's life in the hands of random strangers running a ride and paid them for the privilege.

While we were waiting for him to get all strapped in, his dad asked, "Are you scared at all?"

And my son looked at us and said, "YOLO, right?"


So I've been thinking about this whole Houston Marathon thing. About my goals and about what it will take to get there.

And I've decided YOLO. Why stop at a goal of 4 hours and 30 minutes, when I can push and do less than 4?

I was always, always, always told that if I was going to do something, I might as well as do the best I can. I tell my kids this all the time.

I can do better than my last marathon time of 5:28:whatever. I can do better than my previous time of 4:58:whatever. I can do better than 4:30.

So why not do it?

There it is. I've made it Internet-official: I am going to work toward a sub-4-hour marathon.

Will I get it? That's a different story. If "want-to" is any indicator, then absolutely!

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How I'm feeling:

Plantar fascitis update: It still hurts sometimes. Not bad enough for me to give up my high heels or my running, though.

I do four exercises every night, and then wear the splint all night and while I sleep. I ordered a Strassburg sock, but I didn't like it. It put too much pressure on my ankle, it felt like, and when I loosened the strap, it felt like the stretch on my foot wasn't as good.

I'm used to the splint now. I've even found a pair of socks that fit right underneath it, which is key since I'm always freezing in my house.

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What I'm watching:

Somehow, some way, I got mixed up in watching videos on YouTube of Ironman finishers.

(Not that I'm thinking of doing one of those. No. Way. Zero. Zip. Zilch.)

So, mixed among the triumphant videos of people crossing the finish lines, hands held up in victory and relief, are videos of people whose bodies shut completely down with a mile or less left.

Y'all. It is painful to watch. There's one that I saw of two women -- and these are people who prepared and trained and are in great shape -- who literally kept falling down. They'd get up, stumble three steps and fall right back down. Near the end, they were both crawling to the finish line.

It was horrifying.

I can't stop watching it.

(Ugh. What does that say about me?)

Shopping spree.

So this weekend, I bought...

Some of these...

 Some of these...

And one of these...

Yep, I have plantar fascitis. A week or so ago, I felt some bruising on the side of my left heel. I thought that's what it was...a bruise. When I didn't see anything and it didn't go away, I started doing some research. My sister-in-law, who is a physical therapist, was in town this past weekend, and I talked to her about it.

Yep. Pretty much textbook.

The culprit? Well, I'm sure pounding the pavement seven days a week doesn't help. But also? I ran in the same pair of shoes for almost 500 miles. I didn't mean to, and the crazy thing is that I had a new pair of running shoes just waiting for me in my closet. But I've been busy, and since I didn't run much that week we were on vacation, I didn't think I'd be close to 500 miles.

Luckily, the treatment for plantar fascitis isn't too difficult. I Googled and found some exercises I can do (picking up marbles with my toes is one; rolling a tennis ball on the bottom of my foot is another). I also bought a splint to wear at night while I'm sleeping. It keeps my foot in a slight upward position to stretch out that ligament on the bottom of my foot. I slept OK with it on for most of last night, although around 4 a.m., I took it off because it was bothering me too much.

Another thing you're supposed to do when suffering with plantar fascitis is rest. You all know how I feel about that, so that will be my last-ditch effort if it doesn't improve.

Houston Marathon: The Plan.

So the first marathon I ran, I just wanted to survive it. And survive, I did, coming in at just under five hours.

That time was respectable enough for someone running her first marathon.

The second marathon I ran, I was pretty nonchalant about it. I had survived the first one. This one would be cake.

Except it wasn't. It was horrible, and my time reflected that -- almost 5-and-a-half hours.

My third marathon -- the Chevron Houston Marathon -- I want to do right, and I want to finish in 4 hours, 30 minutes or less.

The marathon is Jan. 19, 2014, so I have time to plan and research. I love to plan and research so this could be a good thing.

It could also be a bad thing. I really don't have to start training until mid-September, so I have plenty of time to think about it and second-guess myself and get overwhelmed. It's already started, and I just found out I was in on Monday!

To run a 4:30 marathon, I need to maintain a 10:07/mile pace. I can sustain that comfortably for about 8 miles now. I need have to work on doing that for...gulp...18.2 more miles.

I bought a training plan from a Web site that I visit quite often. They have podcasts and an e-mail mailing list and I enjoy both.

Problem: It would call for me to cut my weekly mileage in half for the majority of the training, and also require that I take rest days, which I do not, as a rule.

My 40-miles-a-week thing keeps me going mentally, emotionally, and physically. If I drop down to 20...well, that's going to be horrible all the way around.

So, I'm looking up more plans to see what they offer. Luckily the plan I've already downloaded wasn't very expensive, so if I don't go with it, I'm not out a lot of money.

I really want that 4:30 finish.

Thirteen.

No. That's not the number of miles I ran today. Or even the number I plan to run tomorrow.

Nope. That's the total number of miles that I ran last week while on vacation.

Yeah. You can only imagine what a pleasure I was to be around.

The last time we went on vacation, to The Bahamas two years ago, I got up every morning and ran. I didn't know how many miles each day (and it probably wasn't more than two), but I did it every single morning we were there without fail.

We stayed at The Atlantis resort which felt pretty safe to me. I passed the same people every morning as I walked out to the marina to run. I passed them on the way back and I was usually the onsite Starbucks' first customer of the day.

Our vacation this year, though, was to Colorado. Since where we live is fifteen feet above sea level, mountains are an interesting novelty to us. Seriously, once we got out of Texas and into New Mexico and then Colorado, we were stunned into silence over the scenery.

This vacation was not as conducive to running, though. Our hotel was in the middle of the city, and while I'm sure it was perfectly safe, I didn't feel comfortable heading out for a run alone. Because of the high altitude, my ears felt plugged up constantly. I didn't have any serious altitude sickness, but occasionally I would feel a little lightheaded. I didn't think that running outside would be my best bet.

So I was confined to a treadmill, in the evening, after we had basically climbed mountains all day and everyone else was asleep.

I was so exhausted most nights that two or three miles were the most I could talk myself into.

So yeah, 13 miles. I'm not proud of it, but I'm also over it. Even though we had a serious thunderstorm at home today, I drove to the gym and ran my usual 10 miles on the treadmill.

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The Internet is a marvelous thing.

On Wednesday, while we were spending a rainy, cold day in the Mile High City, I registered for the 2014 Houston Marathon.

Houston has gone to a lottery for us regular runners. The race ran into a problem with people buying up entries and then selling them for a much higher price. I'm not a fan of this lottery thing, but I can understand the reasoning behind it.

I signed up, and in a couple of weeks I'll know if I'm in. If I don't get Houston, then I'm going to be looking for a marathon to do in January or February of 2014. Austin is out, because...hills (I'm going to run that one, eventually, but I need to plan out my training a little better), but there are a couple in Louisiana that are possibilities.

I'm still looking for a June race...and I'm not being very successful. It's so hot around here that they are few and far between. I'm willing to drive to the Houston area, but that's about as far as I'm going to go for a 5K or 10K. And with my kids' activities, we're kind of booked a couple of June weekends already.

I'm still looking though.

This past weekend...

So this happened:

I ran in my May race, the Lamar State College-Port Arthur Seahawks on the Seawall 5K, and I won my age group (40-49)! I finished in 26:30, good enough for fifth place among women and 20th overall.

And I got to take my picture with Arthur the Seahawk, so bonus.

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Since I've gone back to eating meat, I have:

• Lost weight. Before, I was running my freaking butt off and losing nothing. Obviously it was because I was eating carbs with a side of carbs topped with carbs. I'm being more careful about that, now. I'm not going carb-free, of course, but I'm just being selective about when and how much.
• Gained 6,000 times more energy! I was just tired all the dang time. Not anymore (good thing because our schedules have become crazy-busy).

My sessions with the personal trainer ended yesterday. I feel like I have a good base to do everything on my own. I just have to FORCE myself to do it. Otherwise, I will run and run and run and never touch anything resembling a weight.

---

I need a June race. That's difficult because it gets so hot here and races are few and far between. I really don't want to travel for a race, but I may have to.

Change is good...right?

I know I haven't written in a couple of weeks. We've been busy -- as always, the month of May is filled with recitals and concerts, try-outs and ceremonies.

But I'm still running. That's where the first change comes.

In my last post, I talked about how I planned to bump up my weekly mileage to 50 miles a week. And I did it, for that next week.

Then, Katie had a dance recital, which pushed my running to the side. I still managed 40 that week.

The next week, I started back with a personal trainer at the gym where I go now. If you remember, I worked with a personal trainer for a little more than a year previously. I enjoyed working with him, and I saw really great results. But unfortunately, my work schedule became erratic, and it wasn't always possible for me to get away exactly at 12:30 (or whatever) twice a week. So I had to cancel.

Left to my own devices, though, I will only run.

I've been noticing changes in my body over the past five or so months, and not good ones. Even though I was running a lot, I wasn't seeing a lot of physical results. My times were good and I felt good running, but my body wasn't getting better. I was staying at a relatively healthy weight, but my body was squishy.

I've also been very tired. I'm a mom, so that's pretty much par for the course -- all moms are pretty much dead tired -- but this exhaustion has been different.

So I made an appointment with a personal trainer at the gym with goals of toning this 41-year-old body, strengthening my core and working on my flexibility.

First, she said that I needed to cut back on my mileage. Any food intake that may go to building muscle would get lost if I was running so much. This makes perfect sense; for the year that I had the other personal trainer, I was running 30-40 miles a week and my body toned up and strengthened wonderfully.

Then we discussed my diet. My vegetarianism wasn't an issue with her. She's trained vegetarians before. Her problem was that I was not getting enough protein in my diet.

And suddenly, it all clicked. Lack of protein was sabotaging my best efforts --lack of muscle, the exhaustion, the raging sugar cravings due to my reliance on carbs, the intense hunger no matter what I ate (because carbs will fill you up, but only for a short time)...

Now, it is definitely and absolutely possible to eat a vegetarian and vegan diet where you get plenty of protein. I was able to do that for about a year. But in the end, I couldn't maintain the diet in the proper way. I got lazy and it was easier to make a tomato, cheese and pickle sandwich than it was to heat up some black beans and make some rice.

So I'm back to eating meat. Not a lot and not at every meal, mind you. I've never been a huge meat eater and that's not going to change. But enough that my body will work like it should.

It's been hard to change my mindset. I told a friend earlier today that I'm finding it difficult to make food decisions now. Before, I had a handful of places that served acceptable meals for me. Now...it's kind of overwhelming.

I'm lucky in that going back to eating meat hasn't done a number on my stomach like it has other people.

I feel better already. I feel stronger. I ran four miles in less than 35 minutes earlier today and it wasn't even hard.

I don't always do well with change. I like what I like and I like it the way I like it. But when a change makes you feel so much better and so much stronger...that makes it a lot easier.

Ten miles, 20 bands, great time.

So now I feel like I can write the post I intended to write on April 15. It just seemed weird to recap a race the day of such an enormous tragedy.

On April 14, I ran the Austin 1020. I initially saw the ad for this race in Runner's World, and it seemed like a great fit for me:

1. Ten miles is great distance. It's long enough that you feel like you did some exercise, but not so long that you're too stressed to enjoy yourself.

2. I've been wanting to run a race in Austin, but I'm terrified of the hills. This promised a "flat" course, so I jumped right in.

3. Austin. Duh.

All in all, it had the hallmarks of what makes a pretty good race for me:

• It was well organized.

• It started on time.

• The medal was cool:

I finished in 1:33:52, 99th out of 573 women aged 40-44. I was 503rd out of more than 3,000 women overall.

I was pretty pleased with my performance.

---

My goal every week is to run 40 miles. I typically make my goal, but there are weeks here and there when kids activities collide with my personal desires and I just don't make it. Or work trumps my lunchtime runs. Or the weather conspires against me.

We now know that the Boston Marathon bombings had absolutely nothing to do with running and everything to do with opportunity. But I still can't help but think of those people who lost their foot or leg and won't be able to walk without physical therapy.

Steve Prefontaine said, "To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift."

My gift is the ability to run. For me not to run when I can would be a waste of that. Obviously time with my family comes before running, but to sit on my butt doing nothing when I could be running is no longer acceptable to me.

My new goal is 50 miles a week. And when that proves to be too easily gained, I'll bump it up again.

Anatomy of a race

I've watched the news almost constantly since the bombings happened on Monday. One question that I heard over and over and over again the first few hours was "How could this happen at such a big event?" or "Where were the metal detectors?"

Y'all, that's just not how races work.

The best thing about races -- from your local 5K to your hugest of marathons -- is how egalitarian they are. It's pretty simple: If you run, you're a runner.

Now, yes, some of them (like Boston) have qualifying times you have to meet in order to participate (for a woman my age, I'd have to run a qualified marathon -- Houston, Dallas, The Gusher, Austin -- in 3 hours and 45 minutes. When I turn 45, that time bumps down to 3 hours and 55 minutes).

But once you're there, you're there. You're just like everyone else.

The basic procedure goes like this:

Packet pick-up. Most races have some sort of "swag" bag. It contains promotional items like pens, pads, a Clif bar or some other sort of energy thing, advertising for other races, coupons for massages, etc. You pick these up starting a couple of days before the race for major ones (the Dallas White Rock Marathon, the San Antonio Rock N Roll and the Austin 1020 had a two-day expo for packet pick-up).

At the pick-up, you get your participant t-shirt, your bib number and a timing chip if necessary (timing devices are now more often attached to the back of the bib these days). Smaller-scale races will have day-of-the-race pick-ups. The last 5K I ran had a day of pick-up at the local running store, and then you could also pick up at the race that morning.

(The most important thing about packet pick-up: Make sure you get your four safety pins for your bib! I didn't get mine at the Austin 1020 pick-up, but luckily I had some leftover from The Gusher in my car.)

Day of the Race: Anyone can be a spectator at a race. You don't have to buy tickets. You don't have to RSVP. You just show up. You don't even have to show up at the starting line -- any place along the race course is open and ready for spectators. You can wait at the finish, which may be the same place as the start or it may be different. The Dallas White Rock and The Gusher had the same start and finish. San Antonio and Austin 1020 did not. Most 5Ks do.

But if you do show up at the start or the finish, you have to know that you may very well leave the event planning your next race (or your first!). The atmosphere is very festive -- it's like a party with a race in the middle and then the party continues.

Starting line. Big races have "corrals," spots roped off where runners are categorized by time. They aren't very strict about it, but it does save a slower runner from being run over by a faster one. The National Anthem is played, sometimes there's a prayer, and then a countdown to the start.

Waiting in the corrals is both the best and worst thing ever.

It's the best because you can literally feel the excitement and anticipation. For the marathons, I hadn't run in three or four days, so I was coiled like a spring...couldn't wait for the starting gun You talk to the person/people beside you, even though they're strangers. You congratulate the lady in front of you who has a special bib because it's her fifth or 10th time to run that particular race. You take pictures of strangers with their phones, compliment their shoes, share your anxiety.

It's the worst because of the nerves and anxiety. There's always some sort of music playing, so you can jump around or dance and get some of that ants-in-the-pants out.

The race. Well, you just run. Some people run with music, some don't. Some races don't allow music. I usually run with music, but made an exception this past weekend for the Austin 1020. The cool thing about that race was the 20 local bands along the race course. Wearing headphones would kind of defeat the purpose.

There are water stations every mile or so. If it's a 5K, there's usually just one water station.

The spectators make a huge difference. HUGE. The signs they bring are funny, suggestive and inspiring. Cheerleading teams set up along the route. Sometimes, random bands are set up. Most races have your name printed on your bib, so it's not unusual to hear someone say, "Way to go, Beth! You're doing great!"

At the race this past weekend, there was a guy standing on a corner that let us know that was the last hill we'd have to deal with. A woman running near me said, "Thank God! I'm from Houston!"

The finish. Finishing a race is one of the best feelings ever. As a lot of marathon runners over the past couple of days have referenced, you're in a daze, but you have to keep on moving. Large races have you wander through corrals to get to the food (bananas, oranges, bagels), water, medals and a finisher t-shirt if that's part of the deal.

And then, you get to go home, take a hot shower or soak in a cold tub, put on your compression socks, and do my favorite thing: eat everything in the house!

---

That is why this horrible person or people was so successful. A race isn't like a baseball game or a football game where you have to go through checkpoints. It's open. It's public.

A bag check would be a huge headache. Every runner has a bag. Most spectators have bags. And because there's no designated entrance or exit, where would you do the bag check?

For me, it's a big part of the charm of racing. The out-of-town races I've run in have all taken place in cities that I wasn't that familiar with. The sights along the route were part of the draw. I ran through the Stockyards in Fort Worth, around White Rock Lake in Dallas, and by the Alamo in San Antonio. I ran through the Fort Worth Zoo in a 10K I ran there a year ago.

I'm afraid that this incident will change the way things work. I don't want that to happen, but I understand if it does

Sad, but not silent.

When something like this happens, the tendency is for people to say, "I'm speechless," or "Nothing but thoughts and prayers for the injured," or "There are no words."

Oh. I have words. Lots of them.

Like many women my age, I have lots of responsibilities. I have a full-time job. I have two children who are involved in many activities. I have a husband who has a demanding job.

From the minute I get up at 5:30 until the minute I fall asleep in the recliner (somewhere around 11:30), I am on the move. I am with people. I am doing things others ask me to do and I am doing the things that I have to do.

But not when I'm running.

Running is the only time I'm free. Free of responsibilities. Free of requests. Free of questions.

For 30 minutes, an hour, two hours, I am by myself. Sometimes, on particularly trying days, I run much longer and much farther than I would have normally just so I can be alone.

I am angry at the person or persons who committed this horrible act today. For the deaths, for the injuries, for the fear. I am furious that for years to come, one of my first thoughts when I line up at a race will be of this attack.

But I refuse to be scared. I will not live a life of fear.

I will continue to go to ballgames and concerts. I will happily visit national monuments and public parks.

And I will run. With every step, with every mile, I will trample upon your contemptuous act. I will run for those who completed the marathon and now have this memory to deal with. I will run for those who died in the attack, and for those who were injured. I will run in an attempt to stifle the visions the survivors saw of the mangled and injured. I will run in support of the first responders who ran to the explosion when everyone else ran away.

I will run.

Joy.

I am a warm summer kind of girl.

I'm not talking about lower 60s with breezy, sunny skies (although I can handle that). No. The weather I prefer is a hot and sticky 85 degrees. I live in the perfect place for me.

I have mostly enjoyed the past month. We had a beautiful week, followed by a cold week, followed by a beautiful couple of days and now we're headed into some rain. But that's OK because I know my weather is coming soon.

Because the weather has been so wonderful, I've been hitting up the park near my house for my runs on the weekends and days when I haven't had to work. I've waxed rhapsodic about the park before -- it's really the best place nearby to run. There's some shady parts, some sunny parts, and a cascade of white flowers that greets me close to mile 2.

It's more challenging than my usual road runs. There are hilly parts to the trail. If I go into the actual wooded part, there are stumps and roots and soft sand. There are snakes (and alligators).

Running in the park has brought joy back to my running. I always love to run; really I do. But running the same circular route over and over and over and over again gets, well...boring.

The park is different, though. Always.

---

The return of warmer weather brings some downfalls to running, though.

Tan lines, do I have them. Sock lines, watch lines, sports bra lines, patches of white in the bend of my elbows where I crook my arm while I run...odd tan lines that I can only imagine are from where the wires of my headphones rest.

Sweat. Yes, you sweat when you run during cold weather. But cold-weather sweat is much different than warm-weather sweat. Much dirtier, I feel. During the cold-weather months, I can run outside, come in and do a few things before I shower. Not during warm weather. An immediate shower is a necessity. A necessity.

My feet. Don't get me wrong: My feet look awful year-round. Year-round, y'all. And during the winter, that's fine. I'm wearing boots and heels and shoes that cover most if not all of my hideous feet. When the weather gets warm...well, I resort to sandals and flip-flops that show my feet. My bumpy, rough, nasty-toenail feet.

I apologize.

---

I have finally found a solution to my headphone problem. Somewhere on the Internets, I found a type of earphones called "Yurbuds." They were about $30 and promised to be crafted "specially for women."

Now, I usually steer clear of anything that is "specially for women." Headphones are headphones, right? Men have ears, women have ears...why do we need anything special?

Apparently, we do. I shied away from ordering them online, but when I saw them at Target, I snatched them up. And you know what?

They work. They work, they work, they work. I love them and I want to wear them all of the times. Who would have thought? Ear buds that actually stay inside my ear, no matter how I move my head. I wore them on my evening run yesterday and then during my lunch-time treadmill run today.

I love them.

---

So, I had two goals for 2013.

First, I wanted to run a race a month. I have already failed at that one, because I didn't run a race in January.

I'm not letting that deter me, though. I ran the Cowtown Half-Marathon in Fort Worth in February, the Gusher Half-Marathon here in town in March, and in a week and a half, I'll be in Austin (if Kim Jong-Un doesn't blow it up) for the Austin 10/20 for April.

I'm still looking for a May race. There's a twilight 5K here in town, but my daughter's dance recital rehearsal will be going on that evening, my husband will be out of town, and my son will be at a band competition. So I'm going to be a little busy that day.

My second goal is to run 2,000 miles this year. Here's the count so far:

January: 185 miles.

February: 132.71 miles.

March: 165.23 miles.

My total, three months into 2013? 482.94 miles.

I need 1,517.06 more miles to reach my goal. That's about 169 miles each month.

I can get that, no problem. :-)

New toy.

I will be 41 in (gulp) nine days. I might be ready to actually turn 41 by then.

Maybe.

My husband and kids gave me my birthday present already. This:

It's a bike! That folds! That I can carry in a bag!

I know.

When it folds out, it looks like this:

Is that not the coolest thing ever?

I've been wanting to bike for a while. I actually have a 10-speed that I got from my parents for Christmas or my birthday about 17 years ago. It still rides just fine, but portability has been an issue.

I like going places to run or bike. Running 20 times around my neighborhood to get 10 miles in just isn't the same as going to the park and running through trails and trees and getting in those 10 miles. Plus, when I go out of town for races, I like to park my car at the hotel and not have to drive the rest of the time I'm there. When I went to Galveston last summer for the Sand Crab 10K, the only time I drove was to the actual race site and back. When I went to San Antonio for the marathon, I didn't drive until I left on Monday morning. I can and do walk a lot, but having a bike would add another layer of awesome.

But bike racks and trailers are just a lot of trouble. I don't want to permanently attach something to my five-month-old car, and other options just seem flimsy.

Enter the Citizen Bike! My friend and co-worker Melanie has had one for a year or so and she loves hers. She's put a ton of miles on that bike and it is still just fine.

So a little birdie (me) put the idea in my husband's head, and my bike arrived last Wednesday.

There's a tiny learning curve on folding and unfolding it, but really, it's very intuitive. I took it to the hike & bike trail yesterday morning and unfolded it in less than 10 minutes, and it took about the same time to fold it back up and put it in the bag.

It rides well, has six gears and the brakes are very sensitive. This particular style (there are several) is designed for people who are less than 6'0" and weigh less than 220 pounds. Other styles can hold bigger people.

Now, this is not a bike to trail-ride on, nor is it a racing bike. It was designed as a commuter bike for those in large cities who don't have the storage for a bike. But for my purposes right now, it works perfectly.

I rode 7.5 miles yesterday morning in less than an hour at the hike & bike, with zero problems. I'm still trying to figure out a good routine to fit in all my wants: running, biking, weight-lifting and going to exercise classes. I need about two more hours in the day, I think.

The Web site offers a basket that attaches to the bike and I may look into that. I would like a place to put a water bottle and regular brackets may not work with this.

---

This week is spring break. Some people may look at that as an opportunity to sleep in and relax, but I ain't got time for that, you know?

I'm planning on maxing out my workouts this week -- longer runs, bike rides, etc.

My new favorite quote (by Thomas Carlyle) is "I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom."

I'm working on it!

The Gusher, 2013 edition.

For four years, I've run The Gusher Half-Marathon.

And for three years, I've bettered my time, every year. Until this one.

According to my Garmin, I finished in 2:03:10, which is about 3 minutes slower than last year's time. I was fifth in my age group -- not sure how many women that was because I left before they put all the results up.

I'm trying to get upset about that, but try as I might, I just can't.

I will be 41 years old in less than two weeks.

Eight years ago, I weighed more than 210 pounds.

Eight years ago, the most exercise I got was literally walking to the refrigerator for more food.

Eight years ago, I would have laughed at you if you suggested I run or lift weights or ride bikes or take exercise classes. I would have called you a fool had you hinted that in a few short years, I'd be doing exactly that.

So I can't be too upset about my time. It's better than what I did in Fort Worth two weeks ago. It's better than what I could have done eight years ago. It's fairly consistent with my training runs and my Gusher run last year.

I am very competitive and I rarely fail at what I attempt. And while I realize that this is most certainly not a failure, part of me wants to call it that.

But I'm refusing.

---

I know what I did wrong. I started off way, way, way too fast. I averaged a little less than 8-minute miles the first four miles. If I had backed off at the beginning, then I could have pushed a little more at the end and gotten in under two hours.

My baby brother Jason ran The Gusher Marathon, though, and he and I ran those first four miles together. Then I couldn't keep up any more and had to drop back.

I've never run with my brother. He took up running probably around the same time I took it up for the second time. (We were even wearing the same color shirt, so we were twins!)

So I'm kind of OK with the way that worked out. :-)

T minus 3 days!

On Saturday, I will run my second half-marathon in two weeks.

In doing so, I will also keep on keeping on my New Year's resolution to run a race every month in 2013. I missed January because I didn't think about the resolution until January, so technically I've already failed, but...I'm ignoring that.

The Gusher 5K, Half-Marathon and Marathon is my home race, and I've run it every year since its inception. It's great not to have to travel to race a half. I sleep in my own bed, get up and eat breakfast in my own kitchen, drive the back ways and park in my work parking lot, run, then go home.The course is mostly flat, so that's good, too. (Still having nightmares about running up the Main Street Bridge in Fort Worth two weekends ago!)

When I was an undergrad, a professor once mentioned in class that you could read Hamlet every year, write down your impressions, and over a period of several years, that was your story as a person. I liked that theory then, and now, I can see it in my race statistics.

2010: I finished in 3:11:40.7.  I weighed about 50 pounds more than I do now. The first race was in May, which is hit or miss temperature-wise here. It could be relatively cool, or it could be hotter than hell. That weekend, it was hotter than hell. I lost about seven pounds that day. I was running, but not consistently and not with any clear goals in mind. I think I registered for the race while I was still on a runner's high one random night. I finished 70th out of 82 women aged 35-39, and was the 616th finisher overall out of about 750 people.

2011: I finished in 2:20:05.9. Well, that's much better, right? September 2010 is when I decided that I was done being overweight. That's when I joined Weight Watchers to get myself straightened out a bit (it always helps in the beginning) and I returned to running a month or so later. The race was held in early March, and the weather was perfect for running. I finished 25th out of 53 women aged 35-39, and was the 244th finisher over out of a little more than 500 participants.

2012: I finished in 1:59:03.7. My goal was to finish in less than two hours and I managed, but barely. Good enough for me! Last year, I was sixth out of 38 women my age (I was still 39 then!), and I finished 121st out of almost 500 total.

This year, I plan to get under that two-hour mark a little more comfortably. Will I be able to do it? Honestly, I don't know. I finished in a little over two hours at the Cowtown two weekends ago. That course has a ton of hills, though, and I was running after battling a stomach thing earlier in the week. So maybe I can do it. I'm going to start with the 1:45 pace group and if I need to drop back a bit, I will. As long as I stay sandwiched inbetween the 2:00 group and the 1:45 group, I'll be happy.

Hell, let's be honest: As long as I'm running, I'll be happy!

OCD or just plain odd?

I am weird.

I like things the way I like them is a nice way of putting it. The not-so-nice way of putting it is that I'm an inflexible control freak who wants everything the way I want it. Any other way of doing something is just not right.

I manage to function OK in normal society, though. Over the years, I've learned to let things go. Having kids helped a lot with that; I can control a lot but not everything when it comes to them. (And if they ever realize that together they could physically overwhelm me -- hell, one of them could probably take me at this point -- well, my life is over.)

Nowhere are my little quirks more evident than in my running, though. Because I run alone all the time, I don't realize how odd my requirements are until I'm with someone else who runs.

Enter this weekend.

My best friend Michele and I ran the Cowtown Half on Sunday. We didn't run together, but we finished within 15 minutes of each other. I felt like I spent all weekend leading up to the race explaining my weirdness and being amazed at her normalcy.

I wear as little clothing as possible when I run. I buy most of my running clothes a little big because I can't stand them to be even a little snug because then they ride up and I cannot abide that.

Michele wears layers. It was pretty damned cold Sunday morning, but I was not about to wear any more clothing than absolutely necessary -- I ended up wearing my favorite running skirt and a long-sleeved pink dri-wick shirt (size large when I probably could have worn a small). Michele wisely wore a tank, a long-sleeved shirt and a fleece (although she ditched the fleece at bag check). Her clothes fit her properly.

The only jewelry I wear while running is a necklace that I wear pretty much all the time -- it sits close to my neck and doesn't flop around -- and tiny earrings. Michele wears her wedding rings. I think that probably shocked me more than anything. My hands swell when I run long distances and I just could not handle the feeling of the ring being tight around my finger.

Michele has a small light that attaches to her clothing that she wears when she runs at night. I have one, but I hate it because the flopping around distracts me to no end. One of the many reasons I loved my Bluetooth headphones so much was because there was no cord to bother me. I have only managed to deal with my new non-Bluetooth headphones because there is a small clip on the cord that I can attach to my clothes to help with the cord flop.

Michele wears a hat when she runs. I wore a hat once during a half-marathon, and about halfway through, I took it off and attached it to the strap of my top I was wearing. The flapping bothered me so much that I tossed it to the side.

As it became more obvious to me that I am just an OCD freak -- seriously, maybe three steps away from being Sheldon Cooper only not that brilliant -- Michele turned to me and said, "You're tough."

She could have said, "You're a freak," or "You are the weirdest person on earth," but she used the best word, the most tactful word, to describe me: "Tough."

And that is why we're BFFs. :-)

---

I did my figuring this morning and I fell short of my monthly goal by about 30 miles. I got in 132.71 miles in the month of February. I needed to get in 167. Even with my +20 miles from January, I 'm still behind. I'll have to make it up somewhere...

The Cowtown Half-Marathon

Before I get to the race, the most important stuff first:

I simply do not have the words to describe the feeling of visiting the home of your best friend since kindergarten, walking into her living room, and seeing all of your children piled up on the floor, on couches and chairs, watching a movie together.

Or the six of you sitting together at her kitchen table, eating supper together and laughing at a shared joke. Or when your son tells you that he and your best friend's son have exchanged Skype IDs and e-mail addresses so they can visit online.

There's no way I could have imagined the joy that I'd get out of something like that when Michele and I began our friendship a zillion years ago, but it's there. Oh, it's there.

---

So...the Cowtown Half-Marathon in Fort Worth.

I feel like I finally got a race where everything was perfect for me:

     The weather could not have been better. Sunny and clear. A bit cold when we were waiting around for the race to begin, but once it started, I was so happy for the cold weather (and I even warmed up enough midway through the race that had I better abs or less shame, I would have taken off my shirt and finished in just a sports bra).

     The course was 100-percent beautiful. We wound through some parks, the famous Fort Worth Stockyards, and the amazing downtown area.

     The medal is probably my favorite of all my medals. There's just something about it (maybe the fact that it could be used as a weapon if necessary...):

     There were two shirts -- one participant and one finisher. I like that. For the cost of these larger races, two shirts are always welcome. (I got two at the White Rock Marathon; I just got one at the Rock N Roll.)

     Everyone I encountered, from the police officers working the event to the volunteers helping out to the runners to the spectators cheering us on, was so nice and helpful. On Saturday, when our sons were running the kids' 5K, Michele and I found ourselves a little lost and wandered up to a police officer. He helped us get back on track, and when we got a little lost again, another police officer helped us.

     Right before I crossed the finish line, a man dressed in a cow costume (complete with udders, of course) sped up and finished right before me. Yes, that's right: A man in a cow costume beat me.

The whole experience could not have been better. I'm seriously considering running it again next year.

---

I finished in 2 hours, 13 minutes and 19 seconds. Not my best half-marathon time -- that was in The Gusher last year -- but still fair. I was 185th out of 518 woman in my age group. The average time for the half-marathon was 2 hours, 19 minutes and some-odd seconds, so I beat that, too. And, out of 6,870 runners in the half, I came in at No. 3,335.

I was anxious about my performance in this race. My training got messed up a bit with my bout with a lingering stomach bug. I still have some feelings of failure because of what happened at the San Antonio Rock N Roll Marathon. And I had my kids with me and traveling with kids always takes a little more out of you than normal.

But somehow I managed. Next race up is The Gusher Half-Marathon in two weeks!

I Know This Thing to Be True.

There is always a reason for a bad run. Always.

Sometimes, it's not tangible. It's not an ache in your calf or a cramp; sometimes it's that you're sad or confused or worried.

But trust me: There is always a reason.

As of yesterday, I needed 10 miles to reach my weekly goal of 40 miles. No big, really. I planned to run it Friday evening, as is my usual thing these days. Our Friday was a bit different than normal, because Kyle had a friend over to spend the night.

I ate a pimiento cheese sandwich and some chips, waited about 30 minutes and headed out...

to the worst run in the history of running.

I was having to put forth a ton of effort for not a lot of achievement. My plan for 10 miles went to 8 and then to 6. I'll just run tomorrow to put me at 40,  I thought.

I'll admit it: I was depressed that a 10-miler was so difficult for me last night. I'm running in a half-marathon in a week, and just knew this was a harbinger. I spent an hour trying to figure out what and where I went wrong...

Until I woke up this morning, sick to my stomach. Seriously sick to my stomach.

And then it was all clear. I had been having some stomach issues during my run, but I attributed it to running so quickly after eating.

Nope. I'm not sure if I picked up a bug somewhere or if it was something I ate, but I was relieved to have a reason.

There always is one.

Rest.

Since I joined the gym about a month ago, I have done some sort of exercise every single day.

Every. Day.

It wasn't always running. Some days, it was just spin and core exercise class. Sometimes, it was lifting weights and spin.

I need a day. I need a day. My almost-41-year-old body is telling me that every morning.

So, tomorrow, I'm taking one. I am not doing any exercise at all. Nada. Nil. Nothing.

I decided that this morning, when it took me longer than it should to get out of bed, walk to the bathroom, feed the dog.

I could take today, but today is what I consider a "free" day -- Katie doesn't have dance class this evening, so I can get to running as soon as I get the kids -- and I hate to waste it. Today is also the day I go to spin, and I do not want to miss that.

So, tomorrow...

I made up my mind, made the decision, mentioned it to my kids, and now...

I'm already feeling panicky about it.

I know, I know, I know.

A day off is not going to put 40, 60 or 100 pounds back on me.

A day off is not going to negatively affect my running. Not my speed, my pace, my drive, my determination.

I used to resist rest days because I used to be the type of person who could talk herself out of exercise quite easily. So, a day off could lead to a second day off and then a third, and so on.

I'm not that person any more.

I need to remember that.

Compulsion, obsession, addiction.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Y'all, I have a serious thing for running. It's bad, bad, bad...or good, good, good, depending upon how you look at such things.

This week at the gym, I've started integrating weights into my workout week. Just twice a week, for about 30-45 minutes. No big, right?

Ugh. I don't want to lift weights. I want to run!

Yesterday, I ran 5.5 miles at lunchtime. I went back to the gym in the evening while Kate was in dance class, to do a Group Core class. I got there a little early and while I stretched, I kept thinking, "I could ditch this class and just go out and run. I could do four miles and still be done in time to pick up Miss K."

I didn't, though.

Intellectually, I know I need to do some strength training. I know the Group Core class is good for me.

But my heart wants to be running. Treadmill, road, trail, doesn't matter. Just running.

---

Speaking of the trail, we have been blessed with some pretty damn good weather (except for the rain last night and today), so Sunday I hit the park for 10 miles.

I love running the trails. There's always something to see, whether it be people, birds, or flowers. There are a few "hills," so I get something different than my everyday flat pavement.

---

One of my goals this year is to run 2,000 miles. I missed it in 2012 by FORTY-EIGHT miles. Ugh. I am peeved about that number because I actually missed very few days running, but there were several days when I could have run 8 or 10 or 12, and I only did 4 or 6. Not going to make that mistake this year.

Anyway, in order to make my goal, I have to run 167 miles a month.

So, for January?

185.

Spun.

I love running. I really do.

Even when I hate it, even when it's a million degrees or less than 35 degrees, even when my legs ache and my toes look ugly, I love it.

It's really hard to pull me away from it. Every day I don't run is a day...well, that I didn't run. I wasted too many years being sedentary. I take days off and immediately regret them.

So it was really difficult for me to not run at the gym today. Since I joined my new gym, I've been looking at the spin area jealously. But for one reason (excuses...ahem) or the other, I hadn't taken a spin class until TODAY.

I loved it so much!

The class was challenging, but not impossible. When we were finished, I felt like I had actually done something. But I still had enough left to run six miles this evening. I'm not overly sore this evening. I'm not hobbling around. I just feel nicely fatigued.

And I've decided that I really need about five more hours in the day to fit in all the exercise I want to do. I want to start riding bikes now and taking more spin classes than the two a week I plan to get in. But then that will cut into my running and I really don't want to give that up!

So yeah, a few more hours in the day and I'll be good!

---

I am continually amazed that I am truly, seriously enjoying all this exercise.

This is not the Beth who routinely failed the Presidential Physical Fitness Test.

This is not the Beth who had a running disagreement with her mother about reading vs. going outside and playing.

This is not the same Beth who weighed more than 200 pounds.

Thank goodness.

---

Gah. I am having such the crisis with my dang headphones AGAIN. I got wireless headphones for Christmas two years ago. Loved them. Cherished them. Would have married them if marrying headphones were legal in my state and if I weren't already married.

One day, they just stopped working. Then a few weeks later, they started working again. At this point, my husband pointed out to me that a Web site was offering them for CHEAP. So I bought TWO pairs.

Well, now none of them work. And I can't find any that I like. And I am so frustrated and tired of this. I don't like earbuds. I can't find any that I like.

I have to solve this issue this weekend. It is imperative.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the...Treadmill

There are a few reasons why I have hated the treadmill in the past:

1. BORING.
2. BORING.
3. Did I mention...BORING?

Yes, there are TVs. Yes, I have an iPod. It's just awfully mind-numbing, only in a bad way. When I run outside, I usually get to a numb space, where my body is just running while my mind drifts off, but it's different. Maybe it's different because a part of me has to stay alert in case of  a car or a dog or a crazy kidnapper person. Maybe it's different because I'm running truly alone.

I don't know. But I did know that I had to conquer that boredom in order to conquer the treadmill. One day, I randomly Googled "treadmill workouts" and unlocked a treasure trove of them.

Only have 45 minutes? There's a treadmill workout for you. Want to go by mileage? You can find those, too. Calories burned? Bingo.

These workouts push me to run harder and faster. They have forced me to use the incline past 1%. I leave the gym with shaking legs and sweat-soaked clothing.

And a smile on my face. :-)

 ---

 I aim to run 40 miles a week. Most of the time, that means on Friday and Saturday, I'm putting in some long runs, just to meet my goal.

Not this week!

Thanks to my gym and the wonderful (yes, you heard me correctly) treadmill, I got in my 40th mile last night, a full two days ahead of my usual plan.

How?

Well, for starters, I had a Sunday where we didn't have a lot to do, so I got in 8 miles.

I was off on Monday, so I got in 8 then, too.

Tuesday, I went to the gym at lunch and did 5.5 miles, and then that night, I did 6 more at home.

Wednesday, I did 3 at home, and Thursday I double-dipped again, running 5 at lunch and 4.5 at the gym that night, for a total of FORTY!

I'm not going to rest on my laurels...er, butt for the next two days, but knowing that I've already made my goal puts less stress on me to make it happen.

Believer.

When I first started running several years ago, I bought a pair of $35 Nikes at Macy's. Given my propensity for starting something and then giving up, I didn't want to invest too much in my new interest. If I stuck with it, then I'd put a little more into it.

For my birthday that year, my husband and kids got me a pair of Nike Airs with the shocks in the heel. I wore those for about six months, and then I switched.

I tried Asics, New Balance and Saucony before settling on Adidas for a few years.

After two-and-a-half years ago, I switched to Nike Run Free. Not sure why. They weren't pink, for starters (No. 1 running pet peeve is when manufacturers only make women's running shoes in pink). And I had just read Christopher MacDougall's Born to Run about the Tarahumaras and how they run in very minimalist shoes. I didn't want to go bare and I didn't want to go Vibram, but I would go Nike Run Free.

So that's how it's been for the past 30 months: I wear a pair for about three months or so, waltz into the nearest shoe store and get the same style, same size in a different color.

I've never had a problem with my feet. They're small, but otherwise, there's nothing extraordinary about them. I never saw a reason to go to a specialty store to get fitted.

Until now.

I've been having some pain in my ankles. Not enough to stop me from running, but more than the usual almost-41-year-old aches and pains. I've foam-rolled them. I've done stretching exercises. Still painful.

Today, I went to the running store in town...my last stop before getting an ankle brace.

The guy told me to take off my shoes and walk.

As I approached him, he asked, "Do you have flat feet?"

What? Me? Flat feet?

I held up my foot and showed him the arch. It's not awesome, but it's there.

Apparently, when I walk, my arches collapse, causing my ankles to roll.

I needed shoes with some stability, with arch support. In other words, the exact opposite of what I'd been wearing for the past couple of years.

Yeah.

So he brought out seven or eight pairs of shoes and I tried them each on before deciding on the Brooks Ravenna 3. The second I put them on, I knew.

I took them on a test drive this evening and they feel great. They're supportive, but not too heavy.

---

I managed to run 44 miles this week, in large thanks to the treadmill.

The weather has been dreary and cold and rainy, but thankfully it cleared up by the end of week. I had such success on the treadmill this week that I was kind of scared to run outside.

But run outside I did. Twelve miles last night!

Changing my mind about something, and other stuff

I've documented here more than a few times how much I totally, completely, overwhelmingly HATE the treadmill.

Maybe I just needed a new perspective.

I joined a new gym last week, just in time for the bottom to fall out. It has rained here for approximately 120 days, y'all (OK, maybe I exaggerate). When the weather permits, I have been able to log in some miles outside. But when the weather has been insane, I've run on the treadmill.

And I kind of like it.

My new gym has TVs on each treadmill, so I can watch anything I want. My old gym had a bazillion TVs mounted on the wall. That sucked for so many reasons -- my neck hurt from craning to watch, if I couldn't get a treadmill in front of a show I was interested in, I was stuck watching "Teen Mom" or something, etc.

When the weather became unpredictable yesterday, I ran six miles at the gym while I watched the Texans suck it up in Foxboro. Their misery completely took my mind off mine.

I won't be relying completely on the treadmill for my runs. I still prefer running outside, and I think running outside prepares you better for races.

But in January and February, I'll take what I can get.

---

I did my long run on Friday night, so I hit the gym Saturday morning for a class and some extra mileage.

The class focused on the core, and OMG, did it focus on the core.

I was able to do all the moves in the class with little trouble, and I worked up a sweat. I felt great afterward, and ran my five miles without a problem.

Saturday night was a different story. Getting off the couch was a multi-step process filled with pain. Walking was filled with pain.

And Sunday? Well on Sunday morning, I sneezed multiple times. Unbearable.

I'm going back this evening! :-)

---

During the Christmas break, I decided to organize my running stuff. I had previously kept all my sports bras, shorts, tights, skirts, socks and shirts in a laundry basket in the corner of the living room. My reason for doing this was that I didn't want to wake up my husband by digging for workout clothes when I got up for early-morning runs.

(Yes, I could get my stuff ready the night before. I also could veg in the recliner watching crime procedural shows. You guess which one I chose...)

My laundry basket wasn't organized, though. I wasted a lot of time digging for my favorite pair of shorts or my most comfortable socks or whatever. Plus, did I really need all those race t-shirts? All those really gross, sweat-stained-beyond-sweat-stained sports bras? All 50 pairs of socks when I really only like to wear about three of them?

No.

I tossed a bunch of stuff, bought some new stuff, and organized it all in a three-drawer cart that I placed in my laundry room. Easy to access, easy to put stuff up right out of the dryer, and a good landing place for my often-wet-and-gross shoes when I come in from a run.

2013: Keep on keeping on.

I know it's been a while since I've blogged.

I've been busy. My husband has been working some crazy hours, so it was up to me to get the Christmas shopping done in addition to my usual traipsing kids here and yon, cleaning, doing the laundry, cooking, working, and oh yeah, running.

I've found over the years that when you think you have the least amount of time to exercise is when you should make the greatest effort to do it!

So I did, and I haven't regretted any of it. I've run every day except for four in the past month.

---

And because I love stuff like this, my 2012 stats:

Miles run: 1,952.45. I'm kind of bummed that I didn't make it to 2,000.

Most miles run in a month: October, with 195.5 miles.

Least miles run in a month: November, with 129.2 -- I take off essentially 10 days for marathon prep and recovery.

Time spent running: 333:49:24. This is incomplete because it doesn't take into consideration the times I ran without my Garmin and when my Garmin crapped out because of battery issues, but close enough!

Calories burned: 167, 598. Can't argue with that.

Races run: Six: The Gusher Half, Fort Worth Zoo 10K, Galveston Sand Crab 10K (won my age division), Livestrong 5K (second in my age group), San Antonio Rock N Roll Marathon, and the Turkey Trot 10K.

---

For 2013, I intend (because I don't make resolutions, I make intentions) to run a race every single month. Since I'm not running a marathon this year (holding off to try to get into Houston for 2014), I want to have some fun with my races. So far I have races lined up for February (Cowtown Half with my BFF Michele!), March (Gusher Half, here in town), and I want to run the Austin 1020 (10 miles, 20 bands) in April (have to check my schedule and make sure that's possible).

But January has me stumped. There's a 5K in The Woodlands in mid-January, and I may have to do that one by default, if my schedule permits. I'm still researching options, though!

I intend to get faster, run harder and run more than I ever have.