I hate cold weather. Hate it, hate it, hate it. If I wanted to live somewhere cold, I would. But I don't, so I live on the Gulf Coast of Texas.
Where it has been cold and rainy. It's like a double whammy for me.
Maybe I have a vitamin D deficiency. Maybe it's because I'm old. Maybe it's because I really never have a day where I can just sit in my house and not get out in the weather. Maybe it is, as my husband suggests, because I don't have any "meat on [my] bones."
Whatever. Can it please just be April already? I'd even take March!
---
With the colder weather comes the need for warmer running clothes, which also causes a problem.
When I run, I like to wear the least amount of clothing I can without being arrested or grossing people out. Seven years ago when I ran early in the morning, I'd run in just a sports a bra and shorts. That time is long past, though (more on that in a few).
So during the summer/spring/warmer weather, I wear as little as possible. Winter means I have to figure out how to wear more without actually wearing more.
A few years ago, I bought a pair of UnderArmour running tights. This was a huge deal for me, as I wasn't exactly thrilled with wearing something super-tight around my bottom half. For weeks, I only wore them when I ran early in the morning or at night. I didn't want anyone to see me in them.
I gradually got used to them and started wearing them during the day or around others. I admit, I fell in love with them, y'all. Serious love.
And last year when I lost a lot more weight and my iPod started pulling them down while I ran, I bought new ones in a smaller size.
Not the same. SO not the same.
Last night, with all my alternatives (capris) dirty, I dug out the old faithful running tights to wear to the gym. I wasn't going to be wearing my iPod, so I figured they'd be OK.
Not so much.
With temps predicted to be in the low 30s for tomorrow morning's Turkey Trot, I'm heading to Academy today in the hopes of finding the perfect running tight. Wish me luck.
---
And now for more serious stuff...
There's an article making the rounds of the Interwebs about a woman who chronicled her weight loss in photographs and who talks about how the weight loss has actually made her feel worse about herself rather than better.
The big thing that no one tells you about weight loss -- especially when you lose a LOT of weight -- is that the skin doesn't go anywhere.
I've lost more than 100 pounds over the past seven years. I have a lot of loose skin. Not as much as some people; mine doesn't cause any skin irritations or infections like I've read about. But it's there. Every time I undress. Every time I try on something tight or low-rise or whatever, it's there. Every time I do a plank and look down, I can see my stomach skin loose against my shirt. There are times I have to do some tucking in of my skin in order to get clothing to look right.
How your skin responds to weight loss has a lot to do with your age and with genetics. A young person who gains a considerable amount of weight and then loses it (in a reasonable way) may not have as much loose skin as a person my age. When I saw the personal trainer for that year, he said that my skin actually was bouncing back quite well, so genetics can help some. He only saw my upper arms, though. ;-)
I've looked into having a tummy tuck (or rather a lower body lift). I looked into it so seriously that I made a consulting appointment with a plastic surgeon, which I later canceled. Once I started researching it, I got really scared. It would mean four weeks of downtime. I'd need someone to take care of me for at least two weeks. It would be expensive. If I were having skin infections or other problems, insurance might cover a portion of it. But for primarily cosmetic reasons? No way.
I also read that it won't do any good if the ab muscles underneath aren't in good shape. I was terrified that I'd go to the doctor for a consultation and he'd tell me that my ab muscles were still in pitiful shape.
So I decided against it, for now.
But the loose skin is still depressing. I'll be perfectly honest. I worked my ass off, almost literally, to lose this weight. I didn't do any quick fixes with pills or supplements or fad diets. I watch what I eat and I exercise daily.
So to see that reminder daily that I was a fat person once can be demoralizing. As someone said online, it's like I'm always going to be punished for being overweight. I'll never truly be in shape or fit or thin, no matter what the scale says.
It also is inspiring in a way. I see all that skin and know that I'm not that person anymore.
I just wish I didn't have to still carry her skin around with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment