Weight.

I haven't weighed myself in months. It's funny; when I first started this, more than a year ago, I weighed myself every other day.

I've read arguments on each side -- whether you should weigh multiple times a week or just once. Multiple times works for me.

Even though I haven't weighed myself in quite a while, and I am eating like a horse, I still believe I have lost weight or inches.

Last weekend, I went out with a friend. I shuffled through laundry baskets of clean clothes before pulling out a white tank top. I put it on, tossed on a black cardigan and headed out.

That evening, when I was getting undressed, I noticed that the white tank top had a small rhinestone heart on the bottom hem.

This was Katie's tank top. Not mine. It fit me perfectly.

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I bought a Runner's World magazine yesterday. It was my lucky day -- it was all about marathons. Running in them, preparing for them, tapering for them, carb-loading for them.

It was a good find, since I have my own ideas about what I should do. Good to read the experts' take!

Six weeks and four days.

When I was pregnant with Kyle, I'd find myself, in the waning weeks, thinking this a lot: "This will be the last time, I will..."

• just have myself to worry about.
• just have myself to get dressed.
• do a load of laundry that is just my and Russ' clothing,

And so on. (Of course, not included in those thoughts were, "This is the last time in a very long time I will go to the bathroom, alone," which is a very true and real thing.)

As the marathon gets closer, I find myself thinking the same things.

I pre-booked two hair appointments this past weekend, one for December 17. I thought, "I will be a marathoner by then."

I booked a couple of different work activities for December 10, and I thought, "I will be a marathoner by then."

The past few times I've signed up for marathons, I didn't really think I could do them. Even as I was putting my check card number in, I was thinking, "If I can get ready..." or "If I feel like it..."

Not this time. There is no doubt in my mind that I can do this.

That I will do this.

Rest.

It was a busy weekend, followed by a busy week (and it isn't over yet).

So, despite my better judgment, I did not run this morning.

And yet, the world is still turning. My size 2 jeans still fit just fine. I still am planning on running tomorrow.

This what I keep telling myself.

Also: I essentially exercised three times yesterday -- a 6-mile run, 45 minutes at the gym with my trainer, and then a 30-minute twirling class. So this rest is OK.

And much needed. (That is what I keep telling myself.)

I don't have to tell you though, that regret is running through my body, through my brain. I will be careful and picky about my lunch today. I will drink more than my usual 100 ounces of water today. I will push myself tomorrow morning to run faster, longer because I didn't run this morning.

It's what I do. I know myself well enough to know this rest business is a slippery slope.

And one I don't want to go down. Again.

Finally, fifteen.

I ran 15 miles this morning.

It had been three weeks since I had last run a long one. Two weeks ago, I ran just 10 because I was headed to Houston for a concert (Matt Nathanson (swoon!), Maroon 5 and Train). Last week, I just ran 3.1 for the 5K.

But this weekend, I was able to get in 15 and it felt GREAT.

I've had a rough couple of weeks. Not anything huge -- white-girl problems, you know? -- which made it even weirder. Why was I so blah on running? With the exception of being incredibly busy, there was no reason.

I think it was the lack of long runs that did it. Eight isn't long enough anymore. Neither is ten. I need -- nay, crave -- long runs. They set my body right, and my mind even moreso.

Do not ever underestimate the power of endorphins. Do not ever underestimate 2 hours and 30 minutes' worth of time spent pushing yourself past anything you ever thought you could ever do.

Do it. Go the distance.

iRun.

I resisted at first.

I'm not typically one that goes along with the crowd. If you insist that x, y or z is the absolute best of anything, then I'm going to try to prove you wrong. It may ultimately be to my detriment, and I may cave eventually, but I'm going to try. (Just ask my husband.)

I started running in February 2005. Just me and my wiggly, jiggly thighs and butt.

And while I enjoyed the effects of running (endorphins, weight loss), I didn't really enjoy the running part.

I had heard about this iPod thing, but I didn't need one of those. I had a Sony Discman! I had a Walkman! Why would I ever in the world need an iPod?

(I am stupid.)

In March 2006, we made a pilgrimage to the holy of holies (according to my husband): Fry's. I came home with a first-generation iPod Nano, an early birthday present.

I set it up -- mainly loading it up with our collection of CDs: Madonna, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, The Police, Sting, The Cure, etc. I even bought some new music off the fancy iTunes.

The next evening, I went out to run my usual three miles (that was it, three times a week back in the day).

Five miles later, I came in the house, wishing I didn't ever have to stop.

From there, it escalated to five a few times a week, three for the other part. Then five every single day of every single week of every single month. That led to upping the ante on the weekends to 10-12.

I used that white iPod Nano every day for three years. Even when I inexplicably stopped running after my first half-marathon in January 2007, I still used it. I plugged it into my car and listened through my radio. I used it when I was cleaning house. I used it when I couldn't sleep.

In Christmas 2009, I got a fifth-generation purple Nano from Russ and the kids for Christmas. I was running intermittently then, not really committed, but not ready to give it up.

A year later, I upgraded again, to an iPod Touch. Kate got my purple Nano.

And now, I use it every single day.

When my alarm goes off at 4 every morning, I don't even have to think about what I'm doing: running shorts, sports bra, t-shirt (sometimes), Garmin, socks, shoes, iPod, outside.


Would I be as obsessed about running had not the Apple folks and Steve Jobs come up with the iPod?

Probably. I tend to do that with things -- books, movies, activities, hobbies...

But my iPod makes it so much easier, so much more enjoyable, and for that, I am thankful.