Change is good...right?

I know I haven't written in a couple of weeks. We've been busy -- as always, the month of May is filled with recitals and concerts, try-outs and ceremonies.

But I'm still running. That's where the first change comes.

In my last post, I talked about how I planned to bump up my weekly mileage to 50 miles a week. And I did it, for that next week.

Then, Katie had a dance recital, which pushed my running to the side. I still managed 40 that week.

The next week, I started back with a personal trainer at the gym where I go now. If you remember, I worked with a personal trainer for a little more than a year previously. I enjoyed working with him, and I saw really great results. But unfortunately, my work schedule became erratic, and it wasn't always possible for me to get away exactly at 12:30 (or whatever) twice a week. So I had to cancel.

Left to my own devices, though, I will only run.

I've been noticing changes in my body over the past five or so months, and not good ones. Even though I was running a lot, I wasn't seeing a lot of physical results. My times were good and I felt good running, but my body wasn't getting better. I was staying at a relatively healthy weight, but my body was squishy.

I've also been very tired. I'm a mom, so that's pretty much par for the course -- all moms are pretty much dead tired -- but this exhaustion has been different.

So I made an appointment with a personal trainer at the gym with goals of toning this 41-year-old body, strengthening my core and working on my flexibility.

First, she said that I needed to cut back on my mileage. Any food intake that may go to building muscle would get lost if I was running so much. This makes perfect sense; for the year that I had the other personal trainer, I was running 30-40 miles a week and my body toned up and strengthened wonderfully.

Then we discussed my diet. My vegetarianism wasn't an issue with her. She's trained vegetarians before. Her problem was that I was not getting enough protein in my diet.

And suddenly, it all clicked. Lack of protein was sabotaging my best efforts --lack of muscle, the exhaustion, the raging sugar cravings due to my reliance on carbs, the intense hunger no matter what I ate (because carbs will fill you up, but only for a short time)...

Now, it is definitely and absolutely possible to eat a vegetarian and vegan diet where you get plenty of protein. I was able to do that for about a year. But in the end, I couldn't maintain the diet in the proper way. I got lazy and it was easier to make a tomato, cheese and pickle sandwich than it was to heat up some black beans and make some rice.

So I'm back to eating meat. Not a lot and not at every meal, mind you. I've never been a huge meat eater and that's not going to change. But enough that my body will work like it should.

It's been hard to change my mindset. I told a friend earlier today that I'm finding it difficult to make food decisions now. Before, I had a handful of places that served acceptable meals for me. Now...it's kind of overwhelming.

I'm lucky in that going back to eating meat hasn't done a number on my stomach like it has other people.

I feel better already. I feel stronger. I ran four miles in less than 35 minutes earlier today and it wasn't even hard.

I don't always do well with change. I like what I like and I like it the way I like it. But when a change makes you feel so much better and so much stronger...that makes it a lot easier.