Mind Games.

Last week, I felt ready. Confident, even.

I ordered a pair of pink compression socks with hearts on them for my recovery after the marathon.

I ran 20 miles on Saturday in a little more than 3:30.

I felt pretty great the rest of Saturday, just a little sore, but nothing crazy.

Then, I read on the Internet the experiences of those who ran the NYC Marathon on Sunday. One runner woke up Monday with a swollen foot -- a stress fracture. Another posted that he had a difficult time walking up and down the stairs. It was just yesterday that he felt "normal."

I was Googling marathon stuff (almost as bad as Googling pregnancy issues, trust me -- NEVER do that), and came across a calculator. You put in your last mileage and run time and it calculated an estimation of how long it would take you to finish a 5K or a half-marathon or a full. I typed in my 20-mile, 3-hour and 30-minute time, and got an estimate of 4 hours and 40+ minutes.

What?

Then I got scared. And worried.

I know I'm going to have to cut back on my running over the next three weeks. Besides keeping my weight at a healthy number, running does a lot for my moods. How is the decrease going to affect that?

What if I injure myself in the next three weeks? I wear high heels. I'm naturally clumsy. I run 50 miles a week. It could happen.

I have booked my hotel in DFW for two nights -- Saturday and Sunday. I figured I wouldn't feel much like driving six hours home after running 26.2 miles. But then I started doubting myself on that. I'm always pumped up after a race, so what better time to start a long drive? I'm going to miss Russ, Kyle and Kate so much. Plus, if I come home on Monday, Russ is going to have to do the whole morning routine and that will not go well (I once received an early-morning phone call from him while on a business trip, because Katie lost it because he put syrup on her waffles. She HATES syrup.).

I'm worried about what's going to happen AFTER the marathon. The first time I ran a half-marathon (2007), I stopped running and gained all sorts of weight and it was AWFUL. So I know I have to have a plan for that.

I had to make myself STOP worrying and be reasonable and rational.

For starters, the runner I referenced above who had a stress fracture? She trained for the NYC Marathon in about six weeks, because she was offered a spot on a charity team. I've been running for a year. The runner who couldn't walk up and down stairs? Big whoop. I don't have stairs at my house.

I know that I will likely have some mood issues with decreased running. So I need to prepare myself for that.

The injury thing, well, I can't do much about that. Just hope and pray.

My plan for afterward? Another race. I'm going to sign up for The Gusher half, and plan on running the Houston Marathon.

Still haven't decided about the hotel stay. Some days, I think I'll stay over and enjoy sleeping. Others, I think I'll just come on home to my husband  and babies.

Either way, I'm going to do this. For real.