Skinny isn't what it's about.

It's officially official: I have lost 20 pounds since Sept. 25. I'm going to shed 10 more and then I'm done.

All the weight charts say that the range for my height is 141-113. I'm going to consider myself "good" at 130, though.

A few years ago when I was running, running, running, the lowest weight I got down to was 124.

Yes. 124.

I felt good. I wore a size 4 in some things, a 2 in others. It was difficult to find appropriate clothing, because the world seems to think if you're a size 2, mini skirts are all you want to wear. (Not that I didn't have my fair share of mini skirts, but I do work in a professional setting...)

I had lots of energy. I had lots of everything, except for padding.

I look back at pictures from then, and I think about how I felt -- not mentally, but physically -- and I know that anything less than 130 isn't good for me. Not for my frame.

I'm a small person. Even when I'm overweight, my frame is small. It's not designed to carry around a lot of weight, but 124 was too little for it.

If I sat for a period of time, my rear end hurt. It didn't have to be hours and hours. Sitting at a movie was uncomfortable.

I prefer to sleep on my side. If I managed to stay in that position all night, I'd wake up with sore hips because there was nothing to cushion them. I eventually gravitated to sleeping on my stomach. I didn't have *any* boobs at all, so that didn't interfere with it.

I don't want anyone out there to confuse this with an eating disorder or mental issue. It's just what happens when a person runs a lot, and I was running a LOT. I averaged around 10 miles a day most days, what with running in the morning and then more running during my lunch at work. That's 280 miles a month.

Now you may be asking, does that extra six pounds -- from 124 to 130 -- *really* make a difference? It does for my body. Maybe it will be different this time -- I'm three years older.

And maybe because I'm three years older, the thrill of seeing 124 doesn't outweigh how it feels to be that thin.

I simply want to be *healthy* this time around.