So, people are starting to notice my weight loss. It seems to go in spurts, the noticing. I'll be rocking along, minding my own business and then two or three or 20 people will comment on it.
The comments make me want to do two things:
1. Run and hide.
2. Bask in the fact that I have lost quite a bit of weight. I did what I said I was going to do. Smile BIG and thank them profusely.
It's weird that running and hiding is one of the things I want to do when someone comments. I mean, one of the many reasons that I decided to lose weight was that I wanted to be noticed. I wanted people to think, "Hey, that Beth Miller is in great shape."
But the actual noticing part is...scary. Because then I know: They're looking at ME.
I'm typically not a Girl Who Is Noticed. I blend in most of the time, although some of my sartorial choices force me to stand out. (What can I say? I like unusual things.) So 99 percent of the time, I can pretend that I'm under the radar.
Well, when someone says, "Hey, you've lost weight, right? You look great," I know that I'm not flying under the radar any longer, if I ever was.
When I lost more than 100 pounds a few years ago, I hid in my regular clothing for a while. I wasn't ready for people to notice. But little by little, I wore things to let them know that I was smaller. This time, I kind of went whole hog. Once I could fit in 10s, that's what I wore. Once I could fit into 6s, that's what I wore.
I didn't really give myself a chance to get used to the weight loss. Maybe that's why it's so scary when someone notices.
I don't know that I really believe it's happened until that point. And it shocks and delights me every time.
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