Busted.

Even when I'm overweight, I'm a pretty petite person. I have a smaller bone frame, smaller features, etc. (except for my butt -- it's always huge).

So the last time around, when I lost a lot of weight, I went from being a normal-sized person in the chest area to being as flat as a pancake. Seriously.

(And it's happened again. I've said it once before: It's like my body knows that as a runner, I really don't need excess weight up top, so it dumps it as soon as I put on my running shoes.)

It shocked me and once when I was whining to my BFF about it, she said, "Well, people your size don't have big boobs!"

"But <insert name of famous actress who is TINY but with HUGE boobs> does. And so does <insert another name of famous actress who is TEENSY but HUGE>. Why don't I?" I whined.

"Beth," she said. "Those aren't real. They're FAKE."

And I had yet another lightbulb moment. Intellectually, I knew that, but when it was happening to my own body, I couldn't see it. And I was 34 years old.

So yesterday I came home to the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

A caveat:

Even as a feminist, I truly don't have a problem with SI (or any other magazine similar or raunchier). If a woman can make money that way, then more power to her! If *I* could make money that way, I'd certainly do it.

Unfortunately, the market for 38-year-old women in swimsuits who have had two children (and the stretch marks to prove it), have really short hair, and have had wild fluctuations in weight is not that big. Shocking, I know.

So I don't object to this magazine or others on that particular issue. I just object to it because it paints such an unrealistic picture of how women *should* look.

I looked through the magazine (and felt positively HUGE), and then promptly put it somewhere that the kids wouldn't see it. Not because the female form is dirty or anything like that, but because I don't want Katie to think that her body is wrong because it doesn't look like those. I don't want Kyle thinking that women are supposed to look like that.

And that is where I have my problem. All around the world, men and women are looking at that magazine and comparing. Comparing themselves to those women. Comparing the women they know to those women. And we're all falling short.

A percentage of the women in the magazine likely haven't had medical intervention to look the way they do; there apparently are some women blessed with a genetic code that doesn't ditch their breasts at the first sign of exercise or diet. (I hate you, by the way.)

But some of them have, and I think that hurts all of us.

---

OMG. Soreness. You'd think that since I run about 30-35 miles a week, lifting weights wouldn't make my legs sore at least.

You'd be wrong. Yesterday morning when I got out of bed, it was bad. And after sitting most of the day and teaching a twirling class, the first few steps of running were torture. But it eventually worked itself out. I feel great today and am determined to go back to the gym. It's going to take some savvy time management, but I am determined!